“i want to wear shorts because it’s hot but i really hate my legs” an autobiography
“I want to wear shorts but i didnt shave” the sequel.
“I want to wear shorts but I don’t tan and I’d rather not blind you” The trilogy
“I want to wear shorts but my huge dick always sticks out” a pop-up book
(via slamchowder)
Source: discomplete
Source: mores-ank-hex
im Sorry but you two cant get the marriage. the bible said Adam and Eve not matthew and ashley. come back when youve legally changed your names
(via timinator232)
Source: gothlolita
I honestly can’t blame David Karp for wanting to sell this website
You can only be called “daddy” by white middle-class teenaged girls so many times before something just snaps
(via pricklylegs)
Source: noonereadstheurl
My life goal is to have enough $100 bills that fill a bathtub & I want to bathe in my glory & success
my life goal is to sneeze with out farting
I think we’re on two different paths in life
(via diagonal-strafing)
Source: like-ya
*takes nudes with a yugioh card covering my junk*
It only takes one Yugioh card to cover your junk hahaha
(via pleatedjeans)
Source: balkhy
Source: northlucas
Two bald eagles in air battle crash-land at airport
Dude these two eagles were fighting mid-air and got stuck. They crash landed at an airport and both survived.
How hardcore is that? Look at their faces tho.
Its like “I swear to GAWD Jerry”
(via jacksconfusedarousal)
Source: bestrooftalkever
I do things. Secret things. In your room. At night.
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